Stand Up, Speak Up, In Love

Good Morning!! Tempers flare, conflicts do occur, and can cause disastrous results,...if not properly managed. Attitude can make all the difference in the world. One option in dealing with conflict is an "I'll get you" attitude. "I win and you lose because I am right and you are wrong." This is a power play, and shows little or no love. Another option says, "I'll get out. I'm uncomfortable, so I'll withdraw from the conflict." And you storm from the room with nothing more to say, and nothing solved. "I'll give in. I'll be nice and submit to your demands so you'll love me." You become a doormat who is smiling … but frustrated. That's me way too often.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.—Ephesians 4:15 (NIV)

And still another way is; "I'll meet you halfway. I have only half of the truth and I need your half." This is the attitude of creative compromise,...but these two half-truths may not equal the real, or whole truth. But the most fruitful attitude is; "I care enough to confront. I want to have a healthier, respectful, and honest relationship with you. I want you to know where I stand,...and what I am feeling, needing, valuing and wanting." This attitude invites to be open to change,...without demanding it.

The Bible calls this speaking the truth, in love. 

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Father God, help us when we're facing conflict. Help us to have the right attitude,…to always reflect the love of Christ. Help us to speak the truth in love. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

"The end of adolescence does not signal the end of peer influence,
...our friends, the people we work with, the people we choose to hang out with,
...all help to shape us throughout our lives."

Be Quick To Listen

Good Morning!! Active listening is perhaps the most important key to communicating, with anyone. It shows that you care, that you value and respect their input. Three examples of active listening are restatement, clarifying and summarizing. Restatement means repeating the content of what was said. This conveys that you are paying attention, and are interested in hearing what they have to say. Clarifying might sound like this: "Do you mean..., or what you're saying is..." and relay in your own words what you think you heard. Summarizing pulls together their message, as you understood it,...and draws it to a concluding point based on what you have seen and heard in the conversation.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.—James 1:19, 20 (NIV)
 Active listening can help two people understand each other better, and help build the trust level between you. It is a way to encourage and build up one another,...and can have a calming effect when someone is angry or frustrated, because of what they believe to be a lack of caring. (A word of caution; active listening is not effective when some one is out of control,...for example, intoxicated, severely depressed, or enraged.
 

Be careful, in the beginning, active listening can seem like mocking. 

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Lord, help us be quick to listen,...and to listen actively. In Jesus' name, Amen.

"The end of adolescence does not signal the end of peer influence,
...our friends, the people we work with, the people we choose to hang out with,
...all help to shape us throughout our lives."

What Are You Teaching?

Good Morning!! Over the years I've had a lot of managers, some good and some bad,...but what I remember most about them is the way I felt around them. Learn not to confuse bad behavior, with bad people. The people in your life will teach you something,...and you will want to be more like them, or nothing like them. Communicating with I-messages rather than you-messages is one key to successful communication.  You-messages sound like this: You just don't get it,...You are a problem,...Why can't you …? You are sooo… But, I-messages deal with facts. They convey what you feel, or how their behavior is effecting you both. Here are some examples: I feel disappointed because,...I know you can because,...I want to see you succeed … I will help you to... .

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.—Colossians 4:6 (NIV)I-messages communicate honesty and openness. When we use I-messages, we are less likely to damage our relationships, since we aren't attacking. Whether in a private or group settings, we are to be encouraging,...spiritually and emotionally, as we put into action biblical principles, that affirm and elevate,...then we are being gracious in our speech.
 

The Bible teaches us to build up, not tear down. 

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Father, help us to be more gracious in communicating with others. Help us to become better at building up, and not tearing down. Amen.

"The end of adolescence does not signal the end of peer influence,
...our friends, the people we work with, the people we choose to hang out with,
...all help to shape us throughout our lives."

Can You Hear Me Now?

Good Morning!! Have you ever said one thing, only to have someone hear a totally different message, than you intended? Faulty communication is a common cause of conflict,...in most every instance. In fact, most married couples experience miscommunication quite often. One message is sent, but a different one is received. Some keys to consider for more successful communication are;...our tone of voice, facial expression and overall body language usually speak louder than our words. Don't forget the importance of timing.
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.—1 John 3:18 (NIV)
Consider what kind of a day the person is having, or has had,...their stress level, all can have a negative impact on what's heard. Other communication keys include thinking before speaking, listening before answering, and building up rather than pulling down as our intent.

So often our actions, say so much more, than our words.  

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Holy Spirit, help our walk better match, our talk. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

"The end of adolescence does not signal the end of peer influence,
...our friends, the people we work with, the people we choose to hang out with,
...all help to shape us throughout our lives."

Hard To Forgive

Good Morning, My Friend!! We all know forgiving can be tough,...but when the person we are to forgive, is actively, willfully and intentionally doing things to hurt us, well, it can be nearly impossible. I mean really, how is it possible to forgive someone who has being so cruel?
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.—Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)
If you have not forgiven someone who has hurt you, who is hurting you,...remember this; real healing cannot take place until you let go of all bitterness and unforgiveness. Forgiveness is a process that may require considerable time, and much prayer. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, you can do it. Jesus forgave his attackers, even as he died on the cross. And He forgives us freely, when we turn to Him,...how can we do any less?

Forgiveness will allow us to experience God's peace, and all the good He has planned for our lives.

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Holy Spirit, teach us to forgive. We've been covered with God's grace and mercy. Forgive us for holding in so much bitterness toward the one who has or is hurting us,...help us to extend grace to this person. Help us to forgive. And help us to love, in spite of their actions. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

"The end of adolescence does not signal the end of peer influence,
...our friends, the people we work with, the people we choose to hang out with,
...all help to shape us throughout our lives."

Let Nothing Keep Us From The Love Of God

Good Morning!! If you have ever been fired from a job, bullied, cheated on, taken advantage of, misused or abused in any kind of way,...you no doubt felt totally out of control in the situation, whether it was as an adult or child. You never want to feel out of control again, so now you try to control every situation, and relationship, in your life. You probably don't even trust God to be in control. None of us can be free to become all we were meant to be,...until we recognize that God is the only one in control,...and that He loves us, and wants to care for us.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.—Proverbs 3:5-7 (NIV)
 Jesus invites us to put our hands in His, and let Him guide us and help us through all circumstances of life. Stop trying to figure everything out on your own. Stop trying to forge through life depending on your own strength and understanding. Let Jesus love you. Let Him help you reach your full potential and accomplish all the good things that God has called you to do.

We're only fooling ourselves, when we think we can make it on our own, in this life. We need to lean on Jesus,...on His wisdom, His strength and his love.

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Father, forgive us for thinking we run anything,...that somehow we could make it through life on our own. We need Your help, and Your guidance in everything we do. Lord help us to stop trying to control everything,...help us to listen to Your voice,...and to obey You,...and to trust You. In Jesus' name. Amen.

" Whether you're a lighthouse on a hill, or a candle in the corner,...Let You're Light Shine!"

Love Helps Us To Let It Go

Good Morning!! Day in, and day out, the media reports violence and abuse, especially in the home,...some type of child neglect, sexual violence, abandonment,...and on and on. Victims of such abuse usually suffer pain long after the actual abuse has ended. Memories haunt them. They continue to feel the shame, fear, anger and grief brought about by painful events of the past. There is a very good chance that you, or someone you love, is a surviving victim of abuse.

 

This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.—1 John 4:17,18 (NIV)

 

If so, you may be allowing fear to rule in your life. The fear you experienced when you were being abused has become a fear of everyday life. Fear of committing to a relationship. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of intimacy. These feelings of fear often cause victims to put up barriers to God,...and to relationships with other people. Fear is an extremely powerful emotion, that we don't know how to control. It attacks our ability to trust. It compromises our ability to relax in relationships. Fear of becoming vulnerable, of being betrayed by others,...or even by God. 

 

Perfect love drives out fear,...and God's love is perfect.

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Father God, forgive us for not trusting You as we should. Help us to believe, and except that You love us,..that Jesus died for us. We want to be Your children. Help us to trust You and Your perfect love,...and then to be able to overcome the fear that has ruled our lives. In Jesus' name. Amen.

" Whether you're a lighthouse on a hill, or a candle in the corner,...Let You're Light Shine!"