IF We Want A Freiend, We Must Become A Friend

Good Morning!! This week so far we've talked abut taking inventory of our relationships with God and with family. Another important area to audit is our relationships with friends. The Bible has a lot to say about being a good friend, choosing our friends wisely, and the value of friendship. Here are some suggested questions,...feel free to add your own to the list.

• Do I have any friends who will tell me the truth,...even about myself?
• Will they help keep me accountable for my choices, and actions?  
• Can my friends see Jesus in me?  
• Am I self-centered in my relationships,...or do I really care about being a good friend?  
• Do I take offense too easily?  
• Am I forgiving when a friend hurts me?  
• Do I have any friends who are drawing me away from my walk with God?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.—Proverbs 3:5,6 (NIV)
God loves us and wants only the best for us. He has a good plan for our lives,... but we can still block, or slow those plans by making poor choices, and not facing them. Be encouraged to do things God's way. He loves us and He will guide us, and help us through every step of our journey.

True growth comes from honest evaluation, and accepting responsibility, for our actions. 

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Father God, help us to be a better friend. We hope and pray, that our friends can see Jesus in us. Help us to listen for Your voice, and to trust Your guidance in the area of friendship,...and in every other area of our lives. In Jesus' name, Amen.

" If we are to have life ever lasting,...we must be born again."

Check Yourself

Good Morning!! Continuing to think about taking inventory of our lives, another important area to examine is our family relationships. Many of us will gather with our family members next week to celebrate Thanksgiving,...an especially good opportunity to reflect on our relationships with them. Ask some hard questions: 

• Am I holding on to bitterness toward a family member who has hurt me?  
• How is my lifestyle affecting other family members?  
• Is there someone in my family in need of more of my time and attention?
• Are my priorities in order?
  

The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.—Psalm 37:23,24 (NIV)
As you consider these questions and others, ask God to help you see clearly. The Bible tells us that He knows our undertakings and thoughts even before we act or think,...so be honest with Him about what you see, and feel. Always remember that God loves you, no matter what. He wants to help you in your family relationships,...and in every area of your life.

Focus on Jesus,...He will forgive you,...He will guide you,...and He will enable you to become the person He has called you to be. 

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Father God help us, as we examine our family relationships, let us see the places where we need to change, to grow. We thank You that You care about every detail of our lives. Forgive us for our failures,...and help us to set them right. Amen.

" If we are to have life ever lasting,...we must be born again."

You Can't Fix It, If Yu Can't See It

Good Morning!! Business owners take regular inventory of their stock. Inventories are an  a useful business planning tool,...they can reveal growth, or decline, in business productivity,..and even expose some possible obstacles to growth. They can assist business owners in making changes,...for a better future. Taking a regular inventory of our life can be productive, as well. It can help us answer questions about our life's directions. Are we growing or declining in character development? Are we moving toward our life goals, or are there hindering obstacles? Are we growing in our relationship with God? What changes do we need to make, to move ahead, more effectively?

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.—Lamentations 4:15 (NIV)

As we approach the end of another year, be open and determine to take inventory of your life. Consider your relationships with God,...your family,...your church,...and even your friends. Be honest. Ask God to help you see things as they really are, and to face any inappropriate behavior,...without making excuses for yourself or anyone else.

God loves you and He wants to help you eliminate those things in your life that may be hurting you,...and others. 

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Father God, help us to take a good, honest look at ourselves,...and all those around us. Help us see what is pleasing to You,...and what is disappointing You. Help us to reorder our lives under You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

" If we are to have life ever lasting,...we must be born again."

Stand Up, Speak Up, In Love

Good Morning!! Tempers flare, conflicts do occur, and can cause disastrous results,...if not properly managed. Attitude can make all the difference in the world. One option in dealing with conflict is an "I'll get you" attitude. "I win and you lose because I am right and you are wrong." This is a power play, and shows little or no love. Another option says, "I'll get out. I'm uncomfortable, so I'll withdraw from the conflict." And you storm from the room with nothing more to say, and nothing solved. "I'll give in. I'll be nice and submit to your demands so you'll love me." You become a doormat who is smiling … but frustrated. That's me way too often.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.—Ephesians 4:15 (NIV)

And still another way is; "I'll meet you halfway. I have only half of the truth and I need your half." This is the attitude of creative compromise,...but these two half-truths may not equal the real, or whole truth. But the most fruitful attitude is; "I care enough to confront. I want to have a healthier, respectful, and honest relationship with you. I want you to know where I stand,...and what I am feeling, needing, valuing and wanting." This attitude invites to be open to change,...without demanding it.

The Bible calls this speaking the truth, in love. 

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Father God, help us when we're facing conflict. Help us to have the right attitude,…to always reflect the love of Christ. Help us to speak the truth in love. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

"The end of adolescence does not signal the end of peer influence,
...our friends, the people we work with, the people we choose to hang out with,
...all help to shape us throughout our lives."

Be Quick To Listen

Good Morning!! Active listening is perhaps the most important key to communicating, with anyone. It shows that you care, that you value and respect their input. Three examples of active listening are restatement, clarifying and summarizing. Restatement means repeating the content of what was said. This conveys that you are paying attention, and are interested in hearing what they have to say. Clarifying might sound like this: "Do you mean..., or what you're saying is..." and relay in your own words what you think you heard. Summarizing pulls together their message, as you understood it,...and draws it to a concluding point based on what you have seen and heard in the conversation.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.—James 1:19, 20 (NIV)
 Active listening can help two people understand each other better, and help build the trust level between you. It is a way to encourage and build up one another,...and can have a calming effect when someone is angry or frustrated, because of what they believe to be a lack of caring. (A word of caution; active listening is not effective when some one is out of control,...for example, intoxicated, severely depressed, or enraged.
 

Be careful, in the beginning, active listening can seem like mocking. 

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Lord, help us be quick to listen,...and to listen actively. In Jesus' name, Amen.

"The end of adolescence does not signal the end of peer influence,
...our friends, the people we work with, the people we choose to hang out with,
...all help to shape us throughout our lives."

What Are You Teaching?

Good Morning!! Over the years I've had a lot of managers, some good and some bad,...but what I remember most about them is the way I felt around them. Learn not to confuse bad behavior, with bad people. The people in your life will teach you something,...and you will want to be more like them, or nothing like them. Communicating with I-messages rather than you-messages is one key to successful communication.  You-messages sound like this: You just don't get it,...You are a problem,...Why can't you …? You are sooo… But, I-messages deal with facts. They convey what you feel, or how their behavior is effecting you both. Here are some examples: I feel disappointed because,...I know you can because,...I want to see you succeed … I will help you to... .

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.—Colossians 4:6 (NIV)I-messages communicate honesty and openness. When we use I-messages, we are less likely to damage our relationships, since we aren't attacking. Whether in a private or group settings, we are to be encouraging,...spiritually and emotionally, as we put into action biblical principles, that affirm and elevate,...then we are being gracious in our speech.
 

The Bible teaches us to build up, not tear down. 

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Father, help us to be more gracious in communicating with others. Help us to become better at building up, and not tearing down. Amen.

"The end of adolescence does not signal the end of peer influence,
...our friends, the people we work with, the people we choose to hang out with,
...all help to shape us throughout our lives."

Can You Hear Me Now?

Good Morning!! Have you ever said one thing, only to have someone hear a totally different message, than you intended? Faulty communication is a common cause of conflict,...in most every instance. In fact, most married couples experience miscommunication quite often. One message is sent, but a different one is received. Some keys to consider for more successful communication are;...our tone of voice, facial expression and overall body language usually speak louder than our words. Don't forget the importance of timing.
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.—1 John 3:18 (NIV)
Consider what kind of a day the person is having, or has had,...their stress level, all can have a negative impact on what's heard. Other communication keys include thinking before speaking, listening before answering, and building up rather than pulling down as our intent.

So often our actions, say so much more, than our words.  

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Holy Spirit, help our walk better match, our talk. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

"The end of adolescence does not signal the end of peer influence,
...our friends, the people we work with, the people we choose to hang out with,
...all help to shape us throughout our lives."